she's in the lost and found by Nicole Lesnett

she's in the lost and found again.

the other night on the radio,

the dj said "shout out to all the homeless folks

taking a bath in the rain"

and i wondered if he'd ever taken a bath all night

with each one of his possessions.

she looked lost when we found each other in clarion alley,

as i'm looking at her just long enough

to quickly smile, quick enough to acknowledge her humanity

while offering nothing, really, and she

asks me what i can spare and i

am ready for this question,

have already calculated how i'll gladly give her the one in my wallet

without her seeing the ten.

half a block to our left,

tacos are made by mexican families.

half a block to our right,

tacos promise, in english, to be authentic

and i wondered what that was supposed to mean.

she's looking particularly lost, i find out,

as i fumble for the one dollar bill

because her room has locked her out

and the atm has nothing and even the ER

wouldn't keep her longer than last night.

she tells me how ashamed she is

to ask for things and the pity on my face

is starting to crush my eyebrows, palpable,

and i'm making us both cringe.

on my way there,

the sidewalk read, "if i still lived here i would vote for prop f"

and i wondered if anyone who did still live in the mission

looked past the human feces and glorified glowboxes

long enough to read it, or to vote.

i'm feeling lost as i'm trying to find something,

anything else to offer her

and she asks for some water and the time,

thanks me for giving her the time of day

and all i can think is how much i wish i

could give her the thing, just one thing that might be

fucking useful, like whatever would ease

the trembling of her hands or whatever the

difference is between dirty napkins and paper cranes,

like maybe there's a way to refold all the things in her life

that got soiled and rumpled into

a thousand guarantees of a good life.

she's in the lost and found again,

and i wondered if someone would finally be able to offer directions

as to where she could ask for her dignity back.

#poetry #motherssisters

 

 

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