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Avocado Music by Winona Bechtle

Avocado Music (playlist)

The greatest thing my father left me was his avocado recipe. Not written, but rather experienced and practiced until I have accomplished a pretty firm grasp of it. This is our guacamole and this is our music.

(1. Al Jarreau- Imagination)


-4 ripe avocados, you should know if they’re properly ripe. If not, I’m not sure you should be making guacamole.

-A large spoonful of sour cream

-Onion powder

-Garlic powder

-1 whole jalapeño

-1 onion (any kind, I always choose different ones, maybe even shallots!)

-1 juicy tomato

(2. Cheech and Chong- Earache My Eye)

Step one: Cut each avocado in half and remove the pit. Scoop out green flesh with a spoon and place in a large bowl.

(3. Steve Martin & The Toot Uncommons- King Tut)

Scrape out any black parts or soft spots. I find they give the guacamole a “rotten fruit” taste that you need to mask with more salt. Don’t- let the avocados speak for themselves. This all goes back to knowing if they’re properly ripe if you choose them and not choosing any past that point of perfect ripeness! (4. Suicidal Tendencies- Institutionalized)

Good! The avocados are in the bowl. Dice the jalapeño into tiny, tiny pieces.

(5. Beastie Boys- Sabotage)

Dice the onions and tomatoes into small pieces. If the tomato is small to medium, use the whole tomato. I usually just dice enough onions to get a small handful.

(6. The B-52’s- Love Shack)

Ok. Everything is diced! But wait, don’t throw it in with the avocados yet. Keep your diced things in a nice pile and get out a knife and fork for this next part.

(7. “Weird Al” Yankovic- The Saga Begins)

This part is crucial and I’ll put my foot down here- DO NOT MASH YOUR AVOCADOS. Do not! If I see a potato masher anywhere near your fine California avocados I’ll take it away from you and make the guacamole myself. Instead, chop and lightly (lightly!) mash with a fork and knife until you’re left with a nice paste but with still large, firm chunks of avocado. You won’t mash any more beyond this point, only stir.

(8. When In Rome- The Promise)

Your avocados are a fine and textured mixture. Now is the time to include the mix-ins, careful not to stir too vigorously.

(9. Los Lonely Boys- Heaven)

This is the part that takes practice. Take a big spoonful of sour cream, should be piled kind of high but not ridiculously so. Stir it in! (10. Santana- Evil Ways)

Season to taste with onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Four avocados yields a lot of guacamole, so I usually do about 10 shakes of onion, 15 of garlic, and enough salt and pepper to cover the top layer almost completely before stirring. Does this make sense? Stir and taste until it’s good! (11. Ogden Edsl- Dead Puppies)



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