"Things I Have Lost" by Susie Ferrell

The curved wooden earrings that I bought with my mother in Hawaii

They used to lay on my dresser

Now I don't know where they lay.

My dorm key from last year, but then I found it

My ID every time I look for it in my bottomless bag

My grandfather to cancer

My grandmother to Alzheimer's

My cat when I was six years old but he always came home.

The key to my family's china cabinet which I buried near my friend's house when I was mad

We dug for way too long to not find it.

My transfer ticket

My pink eye crayon

All but two of my bobby pins

You

My shiney metal thermos

Most of my guitar picks

My tape dispenser

My desire for colors.

you came into my room while I was sleeping

you placed flowers on my desk

and they were crisp and red

and you combed my hair with the tips of your fingers

while I watched the petals fall from under my covers

you opened my windows to let in the hot summer air

and move the curtains back and forth lover the edge of my bed

I tried to be asleep

I tried to shut my eyes hard enough that my brain would disengage

I tried to roll over and curl up into the front of my spine

I tried to push my sternum out through my back

With my head in my knees.

I was in bed for eight hours but without eight seconds of rest.

You are counting the creases in your pillow

Your eyelashes against your cheek

While I am counting sheep

I will not count the dreams I have had about you

Because I do not have the fingers for it

#poetry #friendsandlovers

 

 

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